Birch. From the Proto-European bhereg ‘to shine, bright, white.’ Bedwen in Welsh. Beithe in Irish. The first letter in the ogham alphabet. I haven’t been drawn to working with ogham much but the associations between birch and new beginnings have long resonated for birch is a pioneer tree. Always the first to colonise new ground, leading the way for other trees, larger woods.

There’s a particular narrow strip of birch wood I like to visit, on the side of an old tram road, next to what was once a gas works, now a new housing estate. In spite of this the trees seem to dance. It’s a place where unique fungi associated with birch can be found such as birch polypore and fly agaric.

I made a new beginning this year and am prompted for aid to turn to birch. I’m drawn to a forked birch whose twin trunks remind me of the two things I’ve been inspired to bring together this year: flowers and feathers, horticulture and shamanic healing, grounding and soul flight.

I spend some talking and listening with the birch and am shown a vision of the wind blowing birch catkins into the future and told that I must ‘dream on.’

Dream on, dream on… I realise I must dream bigger… that these two aims must serve my larger dream of becoming a nun of Annwn – a guide of souls.

Following a session with my spiritual mentor overnight I’m gifted the idea of soul guidance one-to-ones then, in divination, the butterfly image for it. 

On the new moon I make the launch and pray to birch for aid chanting her name. In vision I become one with her, beautiful, strong, ready for the sap to flow.

In this month’s Way of the Buzzard Mystery School journey circle the topic is ‘preparing new ground’ and we are working with birch, rowan or alder. The birch calls to me again and I receive some transfomative insights – ‘a nun of Annwn is a pioneer species’. I must ‘prepare new ground for others’, for ‘a new woodland’, ‘move forward’, ‘root deep’, and ‘not turn back’.

I realise it’s time to step fully into my role as a nun of Annwn. Rather than returning to a secular job and remaining stuck as Lorna Smithers to give myself fully to my calling from the Gods and put everything into becoming Sister Patience. To making the Monastery of Annwn a reality both online and in the physical world.*

Pioneering with birch I have begun using my monastic name for all communications aside from financial and legal. Most of my community know now – there is no turning back.

*This has become possible because my mum has offered to help me out financially if I run out of savings before finishing my shamanic healing course in three years time. I was hoping to find paid work in horticulture but ran into the same barriers for a horticultural project officer job as for conservation due to the limitations with my autism around people management and multitasking. I also realised a physical job in a plant nursery or as a gardener would not last due to my knee problems as I can’t kneel for long and at forty-two am not getting any younger. I was thinking about cleaning again but knew longterm it would have a negative impact on my mental heath. So I asked my mum for help and she agreed rather than see me stressed again. I will be continuing to volunteer in horticulture as a way of giving back to land and community.