Over the past four months I have been attending a monthly course on radical embodiment with Jayne Johnson and Alex Walker. The focus has been on aliveness and increasing our awareness and understanding of our nervous system as we move in and out of contact with others using voice, play, dance and touch. The workshops took place at West Gilling Village Hall in North Yorkshire.

On the first week we focused on the nervous system. We were introduced to polyvagal theory through the work of Laura Geiger and Deb Dana. At this point I was aware of the differences between the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system but not of the central role of the vagus nerve (our gut-brain axis). 

We learnt there are two pathways on the vagus nerve called ventral and dorsal. These regulate how we engage with our surroundings and other people. Two of the systems associated with these pathways are ventral vagal flight / fight and dorsal vagal freeze / shutdown and they are our oldest ways of being dating back to the our reptilian ancestors. The most recent system to evolve is the mammalian ventral vagal social engagement system. When we are in this state we feel safe and are open to social contact, learning, playing and bonding. We explored these systems through contact and dance with music choreographed to lead us into each.

This knowledge and work has been incredibly helpful for me as it illuminated how most of the time when I am around other people I am in fight / flight because I was bullied when I was younger and as an autistic person struggle to read facial expressions, body language and tone of voice. Learning of freeze / shutdown helped me understand my autistic shutdowns. Because Jayne and Alex established such a safe space and the other participants were so open and authentic I was able to relax into social engagement and explore connecting with others.

On the second week we covered the satisfaction cycle, which was established when we infants, and governs how we ‘yield, push, reach, take hold, and pull’. One of the exercises was bringing six objects through which we explored this in pairs. We were invited to consider how these processes continue to govern our adult lives.

I had quite a big revelation. It is one of my habits to reach for something I want and, if I can’t have it, put it aside and take something I don’t want instead for a while, then go back to the thing I really want. This has happened over and over again with my calling to bring the myths and worship of the ancient British Gods into the world. Now I can see the habit for what it is I can avoid repeating it.

Thresholds and edge figures, covered on the third week, was my favourite topic. Herein we looked at the internal authority figures who act as gatekeepers between the safety and comfort of our known world and the risks of the unknown. We met and engaged with our edges and edge figures through various exercises such as using a scarf as an edge and negotiating with a partner in the role of an edge figure. 

One of my biggest insights came later from journeying to my edge figures and a one-to-one session on my insights with Alex. Rather than treating edge figures as adversaries we need to understand their perspectives, acknowledge how they have helped us, treat them with kindness and get them on board. This has helped me deal with my trio of Victorian school teachers, Mrs Planner, Mrs Figure It Out and Mrs Certainty, who have helped me to be incredibly organised and good at planning but sometimes get in the way of me doing deeper spiritual work.

The fourth week was integration wherein we brought everything together. One of our challenges was supporting each other in connection in a gigantic blue band. During the last dance I found myself feeling massively grateful to Jayne and Alex and the other participants for everything we have experienced together but also wanting more. Longing to dance with others monastic devotees in a monastery in devotion to Gwyn. I put this out into the word as a prayer and the following morning received guidance on the first step which will be leading ‘Journeys to the Deep’.

This has been the first course I have attended since covid and my withdrawal from the Pagan community in favour of my polytheistic monastic path. It has given me the inspiration and faith in other people to take further steps out into the world by training as a shamanic healer and hopefully to recommence leading workshops locally.

Jayne and Alex hope to offer this course again in 2025 in the Hebden Bridge area and to run an Advanced Radical Embodiment retreat in mid June 2025.